Yuumei
by Touketsu
Summary: Have you ever wondered something about an Anime character? Things about their personal life? Things they don’t tell you on TV! Inside these interviews with all your favorite characters learn things that you never would have dreamed were true.
1. Edward Elric

**Author's Note**: Hey! This is a HUMOR STORY! Yay! Hehe... I'm writing it with my friend, Cherri! And as for my other stories, I promise I'll update them, pretty soon!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own any of the anime characters I use! They belong to their respective owners!**

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Summary --  
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Have you ever wondered something about an Anime character? Things about their personal life? Things they don't tell you on TV! Inside these interviews with all your favorite characters learn things that you never would have dreamed were true. Kris and Cherri are getting to the bottom of things, and if you don't want to be shocked, you probably should not read this.**

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Note**: Might be OOC! I don't know yet... 

**ENJOY !****

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**Yuumei**

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Victim One: ****Edward Elric

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**"I WILL NOT BE INTERVIEWED BY THAT OBSESSIVE GIRL!" Ed roared as he left the building. 

"OH YES YOU WILL!" Cherri, an interviewer, shouted as she chased him.

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"Yes, and that's final," she whispered and dragged him back into the set.

"And they said this place was safe," Edward whispered, as he was being dragged to the interview set.

"What did you say?" Cherri asked, giving him the cold eye.

"Oh nothing..."

**BACK AT THE SET**

"WHERE IS ED AND CHERRI!" Kris, another interviewer, shouted at the crew.

"We don't --" A member said, but then Cherri came in, with something behind her.

"Yay! We can start now!"

"Yes, Kris, should we tie Ed up?"

"Erm, no if he does you can just chase him again"

"It's bad enough I was touched by that girl, now I have to answer her crazy questions," he said, out loud, "Oops, did I say that out loud?"

"Yes, you did! But don't fear Cherri is here!"

"That's what I'm scared of!"

"Let's get to the interview now!" Kris exclaimed.

"Yeah, we should" The Director commanded, "and ACTION!"

"I have a question! Is it true that you're dating Al, your little brother?" Kris asked.

"EW! HELL NO!"

"Uh, sure, Cherri will ask the next one"

"Okay, how many toes do you have?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"A typical one! Now answer"

"5..."

"I will never know, you could have 6!"

"NO! He has 5, I was with him last night," someone shouted from the audience.

"My turn, do you love Cherri --"

"Of course he does!" Cherri shouted out, with stars in her eyes.

"I didn't finish… or Winry?"

"Uh, no comment?"

"I TOLD YOU CHERRI! HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU!"

"He said no comment! My turn," Cherri made a quick question up, "Is your real name Bob the Evil Watermelon of Doomie Doom?"

"Bob the what?"

"The Evil Watermelon of Doomie Doom!"

"The only name I have is Ed, Edward, and the Full Metal Alchemist!"

"Sure Bobby!"

"Okay, my turn! Is it true that you're Al Bhed?"

"Al Bhed? What's that?"

**Somewhere**

"HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT AL BHED IS! HE'S GONNA DIE!" Rikku shouted at the TV.

"Calm down, Rikku, you don't even know where that station is" Yuna told her.

"But… But… I can find out and then kick his ass!"

**Back To the Interview**

"Do you think you're hott?" Kris asked him.

"Of course, who thinks they're better looking than me?"

"Conceited much, your question Cherri"

"Do you think you're the perfect boyfriend?"

"I don't know, never thought of that, but there is this girl..."

"Are you a computer geek?"

"No, Winry is, not me, you should know that Miss Later!"

"Fine, Mister Bob The Evil Watermelon of Doomie Doom!"

"Shut up!"

"Are we annoying you?"

"Yes and quite a lot as well"

"Do you love me?" Kris asked him

"Yes," he then looked at Cherri about to throw a rampage, and then quickly shouted, "HELL NO!"

"Good, your not my taste either, I don't dig short guys!"

"Are you really part dwarf?" Cherri questioned.

"Part what?" he said firmly, holding his fists.

"Dwarf, since your so sh--"

"Do you want to die, Miss Cherri?"

"Yeah, but not in your hands, but NEXT QUESTION!"

"Diet Coke or Pepsi?" Cherri asked.

"Hmm, I'm not on a diet, so Pepsi!"

"YES!" Kris said, as she looked at Cherri, "but remember opposites are more likely to attract"

"Okay, do you --" Before Kris had a chance to finish someone barged into the stage.

"YOU! YOU SHALL DIE!" Rikku shouted as she pounced on Ed.

"I-noth-you!"

"What did he say, Cherri?"

"I don't know! But that girl must die for pouncing on my Edward!"

"Uh sure… Whatever you say Cherri, but it's quite amusing"

"You will die too Kris!"

"But you can't! The only way you can continue working, and meeting these guys is for me to be alive!"

"Your ebil Kris, very ebil… like HOLY from s-CRY-ed!"

"I'm evil, but not that evil, you are, well almost. Oh and we need to get that girl off Ed..."

"Yes! Of course!"

"You grab the left, I get the right. Okay Cherri?"

"Yes ma'am!"

Cherri and Kris grabbed Rikku, and managed to get her of Ed, before she did any serious damage.

"LET ME AT HIM!" Rikku yelled.

"I have a question for you, Rikku, why are you killing him?"

"He did nothing wrong!" Cherri shouted, running towards Ed, "Are you okay? Did the she hurt you?"

"No, now get off of my lap!"

"But I like sitting here!"

"Just get off me!"

"Never!"

"Erm, sorry folks we need to take a quick break, since there are some... Uhh problems here" Kris announced.

"Okay, Rikku, CALM DOWN!"

"I CAN'T, THAT LITTLE PUNK DOESN'T KNOW WHAT AL BHED IS!"

"LITTLE PUNK!"

"YES, YOU LITTLE PUNK! GOT SOMETHING TO SAY?"

"YEA, MISS ALL HIGH AND LONELY!"

"SHUT UP! WE NEED TO GET THIS INTERVIEW DONE! AND RIKKU CALM DOWN!"

"I don't even know you Missy!"

"My name is Kris, and that's Cherri. You're quite famous… in a way…"

"At least someone knows about us!"

Ed on the other hand had no idea, what they were talking about... While he was trying to put this into his head, someone came threw the doors, again.

"Rikku, please come! This isn't your show" Yuna commanded.

"Fine! But I will be back!"

And Rikku and Yuna left the building.

"That was weird, right Cherri?"

"I am aware."

"Okay, we're about to be on air again, please take your places"

"5...4...3...2...1... ACTION!"

"Welcome back, Uhh sorry about that incident, quite unexpected"

"Okay well, my dearly beloved Ed, are you," Cherri then whispered, "gay?"

"NOOO! I'M STRAIGHT!"

"That's not what Roy said..."

"He can die for all I care"

Suddenly, a man that looked exactly like Roy appeared on the stage.

"YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANY MORE! WHAT ABOUT THOSE NIGHTS WE SPENT TOGETHER!"

"No..."

Cherri then stared at this "Roy."

"Your not Roy, Roy is exactly 5' 10.589"! Your 5' 10.588"!"

"How can you tell? You're like a total ditz most of the day Cherri!"

"Well, Kris, I know a lot about my anime guys, that's all I need to know!"

"Okay, well next question! Do you sleep with a teddy bear?"

"Yeah, and her name is Lazy! Uhh, I mean no!"

'_You have 3 minutes left!_' mouthed the director.

Cherri and Kris gave a slight nod.

"Hmm, since we don't have much time left, I was wondering, are you related to Cyborg, from Teen Titans?"

"Uhh, no?"

"Oh, I thought since the leg and arm thing, well Cherri will get the last question! Ask wisely!"

"Is it really true that you slept with Roy?"

"I'm straight women!"

"Oh, I got one last one! Since we got a tiny bit of time left, did you have fun with Linda last night?"

"No comment..."

"YOU DIE KRIS! NEVER MENTION THAT AGAIN! NEVER!" Cherri walked over to Kris, and started to choke her…

"Now, where is my axe?"

"We're still on air Cherri! You can't let them see how violent you are! You can get fired!"

"You're right… you are spared… this time!"

"And… CUT! Perfect," The Director said.

"Thanks! Now where did Ed go? And Cherri?"

Ed, right after the director yelled cut, ran as far as he can go away from here.

"ED COME BACK! I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN!" Cherri yelled, chasing after him.

"NEVER!"

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**Kris** - What you think? Weird? Funny? Weird? XD Well, please review and tell me what you think. And Cherri, please don't kill me! Oh and **Yuumei** means Light & Dark in Japanese, and Cherri is the Dark, and I'm the Light? I hope you get it! And The editor fanfiction is weird these days! It's quite annoying. -.- 

**Cherri** – Muahahahaha! You know you loved it, I know you loved it. Everyone loved it! XD Please Review. I would guarantee that Kris would be dead in the next chapter but my director won't let me…**

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Chapter done on July 31, 2005.**

**REVIEW PLEASE!**


	2. Athrun Zala

**Author's Note**: Yay! The next chapter of Yuumei is finally out! I hope you have fun reading it. ;D

**Disclaimer**: I do not own any of the anime characters I use! They belong to their respective owners!**

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Summary**: Have you ever wondered something about an Anime character? Things about their personal life? Things they don't tell you on TV! Inside these interviews with all your favorite characters learn things that you never would have dreamed were true. Kris and Cherri are getting to the bottom of things, and if you don't want to be shocked, you probably should not read this.

**Note**: There will be OOCness!

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**Yuumei****

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Victim Two: Athrun Zala

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"Welcome to Yuumei! Our next victim, I mean guest, is Athrun Zala from Gundam Seed and Gundam Seed Destiny!" Kris announced, pointing to an empty chair.

"Err, Kris, the chair is empty..." Cherri told Kris.

"Oh! I will go find him, give me a second!"

"Sorry folks, we will be right back!" Cherri said.

"CUT! Kris, go find him, and hurry!" the director commanded.

Kris rushed of the set to find the victim number two, err I mean guest star.

Athrun was trying his best to get away, since he saw the first show, he was freaked out, by… by… that Cherri...

Athrun ran, and found a girl, with black hair and red eyes.

"Konnichiwa! I'm Li Meiling, come here, I can help you!" Meiling chirped.

"How can I trust you?"

"Hey, it's either this or her," Meiling pointed to Kris, searching around the room.

"Fine"

"Follow me," she said, happily, going into an alleyway.

After a long half a minute, Meiling snapped her fingers, and some figures came out.

"EH! What's --" Athrun didn't even finish his sentence, before he was knocked out.

"I hope you are happy now Meiling," a figure stated.

"I am, you may go now," Meiling told him, then took out her cell and dialed a number, "Hey, and it's me, Meiling. Yeah we got him; you can come and get him. He's about to wake up soon. Okay, I'll stay here and wait"

After a minute, a dark figure came.

"So where is he?"

"Over there," Meiling pointed to Athrun's unconscious body.

"Thanks Meiling!"

"Your welcome, and remember our deal?"

"Of course! But I need to discuss it with my partner first"

Meiling walked away, while the figured dragged Athrun away.

**Set**

"AND ACTION!" The director yelled. After 5 minutes of the boring commercials, they finally found Athrun.

"Sorry for the delay, we found Athrun, and we are back on air," Cherri declared.

"Yes, sorry, well welcome our special guest, Athrun Zala!" Kris said.

Athrun woke up a few moments ago, and finally cooperated with these two, erm… _nice_ people...

**Flashback -_Athrun's POV_-**

I just woke up, and I found my hands and feet were both tied up, and felt as if I was being dragged. I looked up to be greeted by a face...

"I'm glad you woke up! The show is about to start!" The figured said, still dragging me. I could tell we were almost back to the set.

"No one special. Just do whatever you're supposed to do on the show, or I will post over the news that THE FAMOUS ATHRUN ZALA IS BALD!" The figured laughed.

"I'm not bald," I retorted.

_How the hell am I bald?_ I gave them a weird stare. This person must have been a maniac. (**A/N: -twitch- LIAR! -Cough- I mean, I wonder if that is true...**)

"That's what you think! But, I've found some interesting facts about you're -ahem- life... So if you don't want that to slip then,"

"Like what?"

"Oh, like how you cheated on your 5th grade science tests, and during your cousin's engagement party, saying you were sick, and she was devastated since you weren't there, and how you --" _How the hell did this person know so much?_

"Are you a stalker?" I asked out of the blue.

"No, not really, well erm… no comment!" they shuddered, "Just answer the questions, then your free to go. Trust me I got even more **_private_** info that you don't want the media to know..."

**End Flashback -_Normal POV_-**

"I'm honored to be here," Athrun coughed, "_I would have rather died..._"

"What was that?" Cherri asked, "Well Kris has the first question,"

"OH YES! Are you bald?" Kris questioned.

"No..."

"WELL! Mr. Zala, your hair is blue! And blue hair means wig, and wig means BALDNESS!"

"NO KRIS! He isn't bald! --" Cherri screamed, but was cut off.

"Thank you Cherri --" Athrun thanked.

"THE SKY TURNED HIS HAIR BLUE!" Cherri finished.

'_What have I gotten myself into..._?' Athrun thought.

"NO! HE IS BALD!"

"SKY TURNED HIS HAIR BLUE!"

"BALD!"

"SKY!"

"BALD!"

"SKY!"

And the two reporters continue to bicker at each other...

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" The blue haired coordinator howled, and both shut up.

"I'm not bald, and they sky didn't turn my hair blue, it is natural..." he stated, "Now please the next question..."

"Sure... Is it true, your having an affair with our producer?" Cherri asked/whispered.

"WHAT!" Kris hollered, "TELL ME THE TRUTH MR. BALD OR DIE UNDER MY WRATH." Kris gave him a cold stare…

"That is not true," Athrun stated calmly.

"Are you a virgin?" Kris inquired.

"Yes..."

"Hmmm, okay then, Cherri's turn."

"Is your real name Ametha?"

"No"

"And I liked that name! Kris's turn..."

"Are you a straight A student?"

"No, actually I have gotten an F before, but I burned it, and so no one knows... not even my dad! MWHAHAHAHA"

Kris gave him a weird stare, while Cherri laughed her ass off.

"Are you afraid of cows?" Cherri asked.

"Those white and black things? Oh yes, they are ugly and scary!"

"You're scared of cows? You are strange, Mr. Bald"

"HE ISN'T BALD! IT'S THE SKY!"

"Oh shit," Athrun muttered to himself, "better stopped them before it becomes drastic,"

In the background you could hear Kris and Cherri yelled at each, and Athrun was thinking.

"SHUT UP!" Athrun yelled once more, and they, once again, shut their mouths.

"Is Haru your child?" Kris questioned.

"No…"

Then suddenly Haru from burst threw the doors, and yelled, "YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE DADDY? I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!" And started to cry...

"First off I don't know you. I never slept with anyone, so I can't have a child and I don't know you!"

"Damn, if you said yes I would have gotten a $1000, but whatever" Haru then shuddered, then left the stage...

""Erm, that was strange, wasn't it Cherri?"

"I am aware."

"Have you ever stuck a penny up your nose?" Cherri buzzed.

"What is a penny?"

Cherri and Kris went dot eyed.

"Is he serious?" Cherri asked Kris.

"I don't know... But seeing he lived in the space from what time to time, I guess they didn't have pennies" Kris replied.

"I see..." Cherri said and hold up a penny, "_This_ is a penny!"

"What do you do with it?" Athrun asked...

"Well, you're supposed to stick it up your nose... That's why I asked..."

"Ah, I see" Athrun took the penny and put it up his nose, but it wouldn't fit, so he forced it in... (**A/N: I am sorry I made him a total dunce.**)

Kris and Cherri couldn't hold it in any longer, and started to burst out laughing.

"Athrun, you know she was kidding right?" Kris quizzed, in between the laughter.

"No..." He replied, "And I can't this penny out of my nose anymore..."

Kris made a signal so the camera looked directly at her, "Sorry folks, we seem to have an erm… problem, back for our next show okay?"

"CUT!" The director yelled, "We need to get that penny out of him A.S.A.P!"

"I'm thinking of a way, Mister!" Cherri shouted.

"Got any ideas Cherri?"

"None Kris, except," Cherri made a face, looking like she was thinking, "AHA! Athrun try to blow it out... real hard..."

Athrun did what he was told, and the penny came out...

... With some erm -**_ahem_**- green stuff on them...

"Ewww..." Cherri and Kris said in disgust...

"Well, erm... Cherri has to go... somewhere with me..."

"I do?"

"YES! Now, let's go!"

They rushed off the set, leaving a confused Athrun behind.

Before he left, leaving only the crew members, he whispered, "Hopefully no one I know watched this..."

Unknown to him, they were watching it, and were surprised how he was easily tricked.

"Who knew Athrun was so gullible?" Kira asked.

"I had no idea, but hey think of what we can do!" Cagalli exclaimed.

"I want no part in it what so ever" Kira told her, and left the room.

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**Kris** - Not as long as the Ed interview, since I couldn't think of many questions... My elbow hurts all of a sudden. O o must be because I'm typing too much. AHH! School starting September 8th... WHAT JOY IT IS! -Cough- 

**Cherri** – HAHA! I hope you thought it was funneh because I did! Most of the questions were mine so yea. We'd be glad to interview someone you prefer, so let us know! n.n;

**Chapter done on August 25, 2005.**

**If you want someone interviewed, leave it in your review!**


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